Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Hijaab is not a piece of cloth on your head. It's a Way of Life.

Just because some of the sisters have their head covered, they think that the requirement of Hijaab is fulfilled. They don't realize that wearing a Hijaab requires much more than just covering your head. Actually, if you think about it, Hijaab is the way you talk…..the way you walk….the very way you carry yourself. In fact, Hijaab is an attitude in itself. Its a whole way of life.

Allaah says:

'And say to the believing women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to display their beauty (zeenah) except what is apparent of it, and to extend their head coverings (khimars) to cover their bosoms (jaybs), and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or the followers from the men who do not feel sexual desire, or the small children to whom the nakedness of women is not apparent, and not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments. And turn in repentance to Allah together, O you believers, in order that you are successful.' (Surat-un-Nur: 31).

Here are some of the more common issues in light of this verse about the Hijaab.

Well, my head is covered. What more do you want?

If you look carefully at the ayah, it clearly states that the head covers (khumur) should be drawn over the neck slits (juyoob). Khumur is the plural of the Arabic word 'khimar' which means a headcover. Juyoob is the plural of the Arabic word 'jaiyb', which refers to the neck slit (of the dress). Yet, some sisters just cover their head with something, and think they are fulfilling the rights of Hijaab, although part of their hair or body is showing, or their whole neck and chest area are exposed. Actually, that was the way of the women of Jahilliyah.

Al-Qurtubi said:

'Women in those days used to cover their heads with the khimar, throwing its ends upon their backs. This left the neck and the upper part of the chest bare, along with the ears. Then, Allah commanded them to cover those parts with the khimar.' So secure the scarf well around your face, covering your neck/chest area, and keep those half sleeves and Capri pants for your Mahrams.

Sorry.…tight jeans and short shirt just don't cut it.

You can't wear tight jeans and a short shirt with a piece of cloth on your head and think this is Hijaab. Nor can you wear anything else that is tight, describing the shape of the body in any way, even if it is long. The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:

'In later (generations) of my ummah there will be women who will be dressed but naked. On top of their heads (what looks) like camel humps. They will not enter into paradise or (even) get a smell of it.' (Muslim)

If it is see-through, its NOT Hijaab

You CANNOT use chiffon or other see through material to cover your hair and body. Everything should be covered and the colour of the skin underneath should not be visible. The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) once received a thick garment as a gift.

He gave it to Osamah b. Zayd, who in turn gave it to his wife. When asked by the Prophet why he did not wear it, Osamah indicated that he gave it to his wife.


The Prophet then said to Osamah 'ask her to use a 'gholalah' under it (the garment) for I fear that it (the garment) may describe the size of her bones.' (Ahmad, Abi-Dawood)


(The word gholalah in Arabic means a thick fabric worn under the dress to prevent it from describing the shape of the body).

The Hijaab shouldn't attract attention.

The dress should not be such that it attracts men's attention to the woman's beauty.
Allaah clearly states, 'not to display their beauty (zeenah).' Yet, Subhaan Allaah, some Hijaabi sisters are dressed in such a way that they attract more attention to themselves than they would if they didn't wear Hijaab!!

How could such zeenah be concealed if the dress is designed in a way that it attracts men's eyes to the woman?

It beats the purpose of Hijaab.
Allaah tells us:
'And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance…' [al-Ahzaab:32]

What about make-up and perfume???

Wearing make up is also part of the zeenah that Allaah orders us NOT to display. So, if your head and body are appropriately covered yet you are wearing bright red lipstick or dark eyeliner such that people confuse between you and a raccoon….uh sorry, that's not Hijaab.

And keep those nice fragrances for the home, between you and your husband. That's part of Hijaab too, even if you are going to the Masjid.

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
'Any woman who puts on perfume and passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance, is an adulteress.' (al-Nasaa'i, Tirmidhi: hasan by Albaani)

Tinkling Jewelry and Jingling bracelets.

'Loud' and tinkling anything, be it jewelry, bracelets, clip-clopping shoes, little bells on clothes, you name it, if it jingles or makes noise, it is against the principles of Hijaab, because it attracts attention to the one wearing it.

That is what is meant when Allaah orders us in the above verse…'not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments.'


No laughing, joking, or hanging out with non-Mahrams .

Some sisters assume that since they are properly covered, its okay for them to sit around and talk, laugh, joke, etc. with the men, but that's not right, even if he is 'the Shaikh'.

Allaah says:

'. . . then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner.' [al-Ahzaab:32]

So talk to them when there is a specific need, and in a manner that is not necessarily rude, yet it is polite but firm.

Staring at the brothers or 'checking them out' is NOT Hijaab.

Allaah orders us to 'lower your gaze' in the above verse. Why?

Because a single 'look' can say more than a thousand words. So, even if you are properly covered, keep those eyes down, conduct yourself with 'Hayaa', and avoid 'fitnah'.

'Chatting' on the internet/phone is not part of Hijaab, either.

There is no such thing as 'we're just friends'.

Talking to non-Mahrams is wrong even if it is through the internet or telephone.

There are too many stories of illegal relationships, fornications, broken homes, extra-marital affairs and runaway brides to even mention.

That is why in Islam anything that leads to haraam is also haraam. Allaah says:

'Do not (even) come close to fornication, for it is an indecency, and its way is evil.' (Surah Israa:32)

Be careful, even in the way you walk.

Remember, you are not a runway model displaying the latest fashion. Walk with modesty and hayaa and you will be respected.

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
'There are two types of the people of Hell that I have not seen yet….women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait…..' (Muslim).

Don't shake hands with non-Mahrams. Its part of Hijaab.

It is not permissible to shake hands with a non-Mahram, because the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:

'For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than to touch a woman who is not permissible for him.' (at-Tabaraani saheeh by al-Albaani).

And no, it is not rude to refuse to shake hands with non-Muslims. Simply politely explain that its part of your religion and they are very understanding.

Stay away from the men's areas.

I see many sisters entering the Masjid from the men's entrance, or standing idle in the hallways or where there is a chance of unnecessary mixing with the brothers. What for?

Don't we have a separate entrance for ourselves?


Why do you think Allaah ordained the Hijaab in the first place? To avoid fitnah, by reducing temptation and separating the genders.

' The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home:
'Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.'
Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it.' (Abu Dawood)

Hijaab is also to conceal your sister.

Although some sisters wear the Hijaab themselves, they forget that they cannot talk about another sister and her beauty in front of their own husbands, brothers, etc. Remember, part of your Hijaab is to cover your sisters 'awrah' as well.

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: 'No woman should mix with a woman and describe her to her husband so that it is as if he can see her.' (Muslim)

May Allah guide us and bless us with the TRUE understanding of His Deen. Ameen.

by Asma Bint Shameem


Friday, December 14, 2007

Last Breath

From those around I hear a Cry,
A muffled sob, a Hopeless sigh,
I hear their footsteps leaving slow,
And then I know my soul must Fly!
A chilly wind begins to blow,
Within my soul, from Head to Toe,
And then, Last Breath escapes my lips,
It's Time to leave. And I must Go!
So, it is True (But it's too Late)
They said: Each soul has its Given Date,
When it must leave its body's core,
And meet with its Eternal Fate.
Oh mark the words that I do say,
Who knows? Tomorrow could be your Day,

At last, it comes to Heaven or Hell
Decide which now, Do NOT delay!

Come on my brothers let us pray
Decide which now, Do NOT delay!
Oh God! Oh God! I cannot see!
My eyes are Blind! Am I still Me
Or has my soul been led astray,
And forced to pay a Priceless Fee
Alas to Dust we all return,
Some shall rejoice, while others burn,
If only I knew that before
The line grew short, and came my Turn!
And now, as beneath the sod
They lay me (with my record flawed),
They cry, not knowing I cry worse,
For, they go home, I face my God!
Oh mark the words that I do say,
Who knows, Tomorrow could be your Day,
At last, it comes to Heaven or Hell
Decide which now, Do NOT delay !
Come on my brothers let's pray
Decide which now, do not delay ....

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Ya Ummi - My Mother



I Will Come Back Mother Kissing Your Luscious Head
Divulging My Longing To You And Sipping Your Right Hand's Essence
Nuzzling My Cheek In Your Feet's Soil
Watering The Ground With My Joyful Tears
How Many Nights You Were Sleepless Working To Get Me Sleeping Like A Kid
And How Many Times You Were Thirsty But You Worked To Water Me With All Tenderness
And I Will Never Forget Your Rainy Eyes When I Was Sick
And Your Restless Eye Scared Of Any Danger May Happen To Me
And What About Our Farewell In That Dawn ,, What A Hard Dawn It Was
No Heart Can Ever Describe The Abandonment That You Faced By Me
Then You Said Something I Couldn't Forget Up Until Now :
It's Impossible That You Will Find Warmer Arms Than Mine
Oh My (( Life's Joy )) The Creator Of The Universe Commanded Me To Be Loyal To You
Your Content Is The Secret Of My Good Fortune And Your Love Is My Faith's Sparkle
Don't Be Sad Mother, Here Am I, I Came To You With Teary Eyes
Don't Be Sad Mother, There Will Be No Separation From Now On mm Until The Separation Of Death

Monday, November 26, 2007

Zawjaty - My Wife



I love you the way you are,
I love you the way you were,
No matter what did or will happen,
You are and will be my darling.

You're my rightful wife, I care not about
Those who like to reproach and irritate me.
It is our destiny to be
Together eternally.

In my heart you instilled love
With grace and good deeds.
Happiness vanishes when you disappear,
Life brightens when you're there.


Hard is my day
Until you return home.
Sadness disappears
When you smile.

Life turns black
When you're upset,
So I work hard
To make your wish come true.

You're my happiness.
May you be happy forever.
Our souls are united
Like soil and plants.

You're my hope, my peace
My good company and inspiration.
Life is good, no matter how hard it is,
When you're fine.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Why A Woman Can’t Marry More Than One Husband At A Time?

In a delightful report about how Imam Abu Hanifah received his name (his original name was Numan bin Thaabit bin Zuta bin Mah), an account of why the wife is forbidden to take more than one husband is recounted. 'Abu Hanifah' is an unusual name because it means 'the father of Hanifah', and Hanifah was his daughter. It was not the custom in those days to do this. Normally, the name would be 'the father of the name of a son.' How this came about is quite edifying.

One day the great Imam Abu Hanifah was asked a question that, for the first time in his illustrious career, he was unable to answer. The question was, "Why were women forbidden to marry more than one husband at a time?"

To make a long story short, Abu Hanifah's daughter said that she knew the answer and would solve this question if her father would make a promise to her that if she succeeded in solving this problem, he would then assure her a place in history. Abu Hanifah agreed.

So she gathered a group of women together and gave each of them a cup. Then she brought in a large bowl of milk and asked each of them to dip their cups in the milk and to fill their cups. They did so. She then asked them to pour back the milk into the bowl. They did this too. She then asked them to re-fill their cups taking back only their own milk that they had poured into the bowl.

This, obviously, was impossible to do. Hanifah had clearly demonstrated the kind of predicament that would be created if a woman had several husbands. With more than one husband, if she were to become pregnant, she would have exceptional difficulties determining who the actual father was. Identifying parentage and lineage would then be insurmountable for the offspring. Imam Abu Hanifah was so pleased with her answer that he took the name 'Abu Hanifah', 'the father of Hanifah', so his daughter did indeed earn a place in history.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Ten Things You Will Never Benefit From

There are ten things you will never find benefit in:

The First: Knowledge which is void of action.

The Second: Actions which are void of sincerity to Allah, and void of exemplification of the Sunnah. (Note: These two conditions constitute the act being accepted by Allah i.e. Ikhlaas and Ittiba`a)

The Third: Wealth which is not spent in the way of Allah, so the one who exhausted all of his energy amassing it will not benefit from it in this life, nor will he see the fruits of it in the hereafter.

The Fourth: A heart which is void of the love of Allah and the ardent desire to meet him.

The Fifth: A body which is void of obedience to Allah.

The Sixth: A love for other than Allah which is void of any boundaries. (i.e. unconditional)

The Seventh: Time which is void of benefit and the individual does not take advantage of it to do actions which would bring him closer to Allah.

The Eighth: A thought which goes through the individuals mind and will bring him no benefit.

The Ninth: Doing a favor for someone who, that favor will not bring him closer to Allah nor will it benefit him in the affairs of his livelihood.

The Tenth: Fear and hope of someone whose forelock is in the hands of Allah, like a captive in the company of his master, who can bring no benefit or harm to himself or others, nor can he give life to the dead nor does he have any power over resurrection.

The worse and most detrimental of these ten is two:
  1. The Heart
  2. The Time

Firstly the heart, because it`s corruption stems from giving precedence to this transient life over the hereafter, and time because it makes the individual feel like he will live forever (which enables him to be even more negligent about his obligation to Allah)

The most amazing thing is when someone is presented with a situation and he turns all of his attention towards Allah to fulfill his needs, and never takes the time to ask Allah for the remedy he is need of to bring his heart back to life from the death of ignorance and negligence, and the cure he is in dire need of for his disease of Shahawaat (following his lowly desires) and Shubuhaat (doubts and misconceptions). Indeed if the heart dies, he will never be conscious of the sins which he commits and his disobedience to Allah.

Shaykhul Islaam Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

Four Things You Are Unsafe From

Imaam Ath Thahabi Rahimahullah mentions in his monumental book "Seer A’alaam an Nubalaa” Vol.8 P.406 on the authority of Abdullah Ibn Al Mubaarak Rahimahullah (181H.):
“The people of knowledge and insight do not consider themselves safe from four things:

1) A past sin he committed which he does not know what Allaah will do with it (either forgive and pardon him for it or punish him with it);

2) What is left of his life, whether there is something therein waiting to destroy him;

3) A favor that Allaah bestowed upon him, perhaps it is a plot which will lead him step by step to his eventual destruction and ruin;

4) Deviance which is beautified for him so that he sees it to be guidance and in a split second, his heart can deviate and he will be stripped of his deen and he doesn't even realize it.”

Abdullaah ibn al-Mubaarak

Sunday, November 4, 2007

foods for thought

Sufyaan Ath-Thawree, raHimahullaah, said: "The excellence of knowledge is due only to the fact that it causes a person to fear and obey Allaah, otherwise it is just like anything else." [Ibn Rajab]

Ibn Mas`ood, raDiallaahu `anhu, said: "True knowledge is not measured in relationship to how much you memorize and then narrate, but rather, true knowledge is an expression of piety [protecting oneself from what Allaah prohibited and acting upon what He mandated]."Also, "Study and act upon what you learn." [Related by Abu Na`eem]

Al-Hasan al-Basree, raHimahullaah, said: "Whoever learns something in the name of Allaah, seeking that which is with Him, he will win. And whoever learns something for other than Allaah, he will not reach the goal, nor will his acquired knowledge bring him closer to Allaah." [Ibn ul Jawzee]


Tuesday, October 30, 2007

dear to the Beneficent (Allah) and very light (easy) for the tongue

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) quoted the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) as saying, "(There are) two words which are dear to the Beneficent (Allah) and very light (easy) for the tongue (to say), but very heavy in weight in the balance. They are: 'Subhan Allah wa-bi hamdihi and 'Subhan Allah Al-'Azim."

Sahih Al-Buhari Hadith No. 673, Vol. 8

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The king with 4 wives....

Once upon a time...

There was a rich King who had 4 wives.

He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another.

He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidante and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her to help him get through the difficult times.

The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short.

He thought of his luxurious life and pondered, "I now have 4 wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone."

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.

The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!"

His heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave."

Her answer came like a bolt of thunder and the King was devastated.

Then a voice called out:

"I'll leave with you and follow you no matter where you go." The King looked up and there was his first wife. She was so weak,she suffered from malnutrition.

Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken out time for you, cared for you , when I had the chance!"

In Truth, we all have 4 wives in our lives ...

Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others.

Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

And our 1st wife is our good deeds-done to please Our Creator,to whom we all shall ve to return,

(Guidance)often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the ego. However, our deeds are the only thing that will follow us wherever we go.

Every deeds of ours, no matter how small, is being recorded-and we’l find it with Allah(all being added to our account)

“SO WHOSOEVER DID GOOD , EQUAL TO ATOM’S WEIGHT , SHALL SEE IT SO WHOSOEVER DID EVIL EQUAL TO WEIGHT OF AN ATOM , SHALL SEE IT ”(99:7,8)

So cultivate, strengthen and cherish them now!Might not see even the next moment… It is your greatest gift to offer ourselves and the world around too ,definitely gets benefited.

"Invite all to the way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; And consult with them in ways that are best and most gracious."(Al Qur'an, 16:125)

Friday, October 12, 2007

Eid Mubarak

May your near and dear ones be blessed with peace on Eid ul-Fitr and always.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Duaa during Ifthaar time....

Once Prophet Moosa (AS) asked Allah Ta'ala: O Allah ! you have granted me the honour and privilege of talking to you directly, Have you given thisprivilege to any other person?

Allah Ta'ala replied,

"O Moosa during the last period I am going to send an ummat, who will be the Ummat of Mohammed (SAW) with dry lips , parched tongues, emaciated body with eyes sunken deep into their sockets, with livers dry and stomachs suffering the pangs of hunger- will call out to me (in dua) they will be much much closer to me than you O Moosa! while you speak to me there are 70000 veils between you and me but at the time of iftaar (breakfast) there will not be a single veil between me and the fasting Ummati of Mohammed (SAW) O moosa I have taken upon myself the responsibility that at the time of iftaar I will never refuse the dua of a fasting person!"

May all of our dua be granted during this blessed month inshaAllah!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

RAMADAAN - رمضان

RAMADAAN MUBARAK
How many people that fasted Ramadan last year are no longer with us anymore? We might not be present for the next Ramadan, so we should not take it for granted.
this year ramazan is entirely a very different chapter for me, my family siblings & for my father too. My mother was with US LAST RAMAZAN. this year she is not with US! SHE has started her life in AHLAMUL BARZAGH.

May Almighty GRANT my Ummi, the Ummah who have already started the life in Ahlamul Barzagh the highest level in the Jennathul Firdhouse! Ameen!

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Nasheed "Zaman Awal" نشيد "زمان أول" لمشاري العراده

نشيد "رمضان" الرائع لمشاري العرادة Great "Ramadan" Nasheed

Ramadhan - رمضان

Islam: Top 5 Qaris In The World: Quran

سورة الرحمن سعد الغامدي Sheikh Sa'ad Al-Ghamdi surah Rahman

Surah Hadeed - Sa'ad Al Ghamdi (Verse 20-29)

Bounties of Jannat

When Mu'min will enter into Jannah, it will be announced:-
(1) You will remain healthy forever, disease will never come.
(2) You will remain alive for ever, death will never come.
(3) You will remain in bounties which will never be finished.

Jannat is made with bricks of gold and silver, Its scent is of perfumed musk. Its chips are pearls and Yaqoot. Its sand is Zafraan.

There are eight doors of Jannah. these are eight grades of Jannat:-

i) Jannatul Mava
ii) Darul Maqaam
iii) Darul Salaam
iv) Darul Khuld
v) Jannat-ul-Adan
vi) Jannat-ul-Naeem
vii) Jannat-ul-Kasif
viii) Jannat-ul-Firdous

Food of Jannah

They will eat foods and fruits continuously up to 40 years. Every bowl will have a new taste. They will take eructation which will digest the food and there will be perfumed sweating for the digestion of water.There will be no urine and stool.

There will be gardens in Jannah. Every garden will have the length of about 100 years journey. The shadow of these gardens will be very dense. Their plants will be free of thorns. The size of their leaves will be equal to ears of elephants. Their fruits will be hanging in rows.

Jannatul Mava is in the lowest, Jannat-ul-Adan is the middle and Jannat-ul - Firdous is on the highest. Those who love each other for the sake of Allah, will get a pillar of Yaqoot, on which there will be seventy thousand (70,000) rooms. These will shine for the residents of Jannah as the sun shines for the residents of Duniya.

There will be rooms in Jannah in such a way that every room will have seventy thousand (70,000) dinning sheets. On every dinning sheet 70,000 types of foods will be served.

For their service 80,000 young boys will be moving around looking like beautiful scattered pearls.

One bunch of dates will be equal to the length of 12 arms. The size of a date will be equal to the big pitcher. These will be whiter than milk, sweeter than honey and softer than butter and free of seeds. The stem of these plants will be made up of gold and silver.

There will also be gardens of grapes. The bunches of grapes will be very big. The size of a single grape will be equal to a big pitcher (pot). Someone asked, Ya Rasulullah (Sallalahu alaihi wasallam): will it be sufficient for me and my family. It was answered, it will be sufficient for you and your whole tribe.

The Dresses of Jannat

The dress of Jannah will be very beautiful. One will wear 70 dresses at a time.

These will be very fine, delicate, weightless, having different colors. These dresses will be so fine that the body even the heart will be visible. And the waves of love in the hearts will also be visible. These dresses will never become old, never be dirty and will never tear. There will be four canals in every Jannah. They are of water, milk, honey and Sharabun Tahoora. There will also be three fountains in Jannah. (i) Kafoor. (ii) Zanjabeel. (iii) Tasneem

Qualities of People of Jannah

  • In Jannah, height of every Mo 'min, will be equal to the height of Adam (Alaihissalaam) 60 arms (90 feet).
  • Beauty will be like that of Yousuf (Alaihissalaam)
  • Age of youth will be like that of Esa (Alaihissalaam) (30-33 years).
  • Sweetness of voice will be like that of Hazrat Dawud (Alaihissalaam).
  • Tolerance will be like that of Yaqoob (Alaihissalaam)
  • Patience will be like that of Ayyub (Alaihissalaam.)
  • Habits will be like that of Sayyaduna Muhammad (Sallalahu alaihi wasallam.)

If a person makes Du 'a for Jannah three times, Jannah requests Allah that O, Allah; make his entry into Jannah. And if a person makes Du'a for safety from Jahannum three times, the Jahannnum requests Allah that, O, Allah; save him from Jahannum.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Like the Butterfly

thought to share an email received today..

We have been given the precious gift of Life. And that life is short.We have only one chance. And this is it. If you have not thought about it, now is the time to do so. What is the purpose of life? Have you given thought to that before?

The life of this world is very alluring. And many people are attached to it. Very dear to them are the things that this worldly life has to offer. The religion of man should teach him how to avoid its traps. For traps they are.

The life of this world is evil. Nothing in it is good. It is an illusion. Attractive but deadly. It has many people ensnared. These words are going to sound pretty unpleasant to some. But this is reality. This is the Truth.

Just think. Everything in this worldly life perishes. Nothing lasts. There are the agents of destruction at work at all times. We need to constantly keep clean. There are germs, bacteria. Dust.

In the world of man, there is a lot of filth and dirt. To survive, mankind has to maintain cleanliness.
The law of the universe has been set up in such a way that if man does not keep clean, he will fall sick and die.

Of all creatures on this planet, it is man who has to strive the most to keep clean. In other words, the purpose of man's life is to constantly strive to be clean.

Failure to keep clean is a calamity for man. Have you ever wondered why there are all these germs and bacteria? Why all these hazards?

The answer is pretty simple. God made this world like that. Because He wants us to be clean. Not only that........ He wants us to constantly strive and struggle to keep clean.

And for man, it is not just physical cleanliness that is important. It is cleanliness on the inside as well. Cleanliness, meaning purity of heart.

And this purity of heart can only be achieved if man chooses the path of Truth. The religion of Truth.
For Truth alone is Pure. So what is the purpose of life?

To strive. To struggle. To keep clean. On the outside as well as on the inside.

It requires effort to keep our house clean, neat and tidy. To keep our gardens free of weeds. It requires work. And constant work. A constant struggle. Just like the butterfly. It struggles to get out of the coccoon.

But its struggling and striving has transformed it into a beautiful creature.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

23 F’s for a Happy Marriage

  1. Faith: The most basic and essential attribute of a Muslim marriage is the common faith that binds the couple. Since Islam is a way of life and not just a religion confined to weekly worship it becomes an integral part of a Muslim's life. The frame of reference shared by the couple eases communication and sharing of values which is not possible in an interfaith marriage. It is highly recommended that faith play an important role in the developing a loving relationship.
    For example, as the Prophet Muhammad (SAW- peace and blessings be upon him) said,
    that even if a husband places a morsel of food in his wife's mouth, he gets a reward for this act and Allah increases the bond of love between them. So when we love each other for the sake of Allah WE ACTUALLY INCREASE OUR FAITH.
  2. Forgiving: When the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) asked his Companions ‘do you wish that Allah should forgive you' they said, of course O Prophet of Allah. He responded, ‘then forgive each other'.
    One of the main components of a happy marriage is that the spouses are able to forgive, that they do not hold grudges or act judgmental towards each other. It is expected that when we live with someone, situations may arise when we end up saying or doing things that hurt our spouses. The challenge is not to dwell on it or lay blame but to move past it. This can only happen if we are not too proud to ask for forgiveness and we are not stingy to forgive.
    If we expect Allah to forgive us then we must learn to forgive.
  3. Forget: When we constantly remind our spouses of all the times they let us down or hurt us we have not truly forgiven. Things that happened in the past must be left there and not be used as fresh ammunition in new situations. Couples who use this technique usually fall in a rut and become victims of their own pettiness, unable to break free.
  4. Forbearance: Sabr (patience) is the most useful tool to have in managing a healthy lifestyle. Being patient and forbearing puts us in a pro-active frame of mind it brings us closer to Allah through Tawakul (trust) and reliance .We develop an inner mechanism that empowers us to handle life's difficult moments. As Allah states in Surah (chapter)al- Asr:
    "Surely by time humans are at loss, except those who believe and do righteous deeds and counsel each other to the truth and counsel each other to Sabr (patience)' (Quran, chapter 103).
  5. Flexible: Many couples un-necessarily make themselves miserable because they are unwilling to bend a little.
    We should not expect our spouses to be our extensions. They are their own selves with personalities, likes and dislikes. We must respect their right to be them selves as long as it does not compromise their Deen (religion). Being inflexible and not accommodating for individual differences leads to a very stressful and tense home atmosphere.
  6. Friendship: This aspect of marriage has three components.
    First is to develop a friendship with our spouses. The relationship based on friendship is more able to withstand outside pressures.
    We honor, trust, respect, accept and care for our friends, in spite of our differences. These are the aspects of friendship we should bring to our marriages.
    Unfortunately the only aspect that people think of bringing to their marriage which is highly inappropriate is the buddy scenario. Shariah (Islamic law) has placed the husband in a leadership role within a family. This requires a certain decorum, which cannot be maintained if the spouses consider each other as pals.
    This should not be taken to mean that husband is a dictator but a shepherd who is responsible for and to his flock. This is a position of grave responsibility and places an enormous burden on the husband. Furthermore the children need to see their parents as friends but not as pals as this encourages disrespect.
  7. Friendly: Second aspect of friendship is to have friendly relations with in-laws. When couples compete as to whose parents are more important it becomes a constant source of grief. Much valuable time is wasted trying to convince, one another of whose parents are most desirable. It is better if we accept, that our spouses will not overnight fall in love with our parents just because we want them to. As long as they maintain friendly relations that are cordial and based on mutual respect we should not force the issue.
  8. Friends: The third aspect of friendship is our circle of friends. It is okay to have individual friends of the same gender but couples must also make effort to have family friends so that they can socialize together. If there is friction being caused by a certain friendship it must not be pursued at the expense of the marriage. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) advised us to choose God fearing people as friends since we tend to follow their way. Friends should be a source of joy and not mischief.
  9. Fun: Couples that do not laugh together have to work on sharing some fun times. The Prophet (SAW) was known to play with his wives. A simple walk in the park can add much spark to the relationship. Taking up a sport together or watching clean funny movies is another way of sharing a laugh.
  10. Faithful: It is commanded by Allah that we be faithful to our spouses. Adultery is a capital crime in Islam that is punishable by death. However there are various forms of unfaithful behavior prevalent among some Muslims.
    The most common form is maintaining friendships with the opposite sex over the boundaries set by Islam, and the misgivings of the spouse. The latest trend of Internet relationships is also contrary to Islamic Adab (etiquette) and is causing serious problems between couples. Once a sense of betrayal sets in, repairing that relationship is difficult. Another form of not being faithful is when couples betray confidences (trusts/promises) . This is a trust issue and one when compromised eats away at the heart of a marriage.
  11. Fair: Usually when we are angry or displeased the tendency is to not play fair. We try to convince ourselves that since we have been wronged it is okay to be unjust in our behavior and our statements. Allah states in the Quran do not be unjust under any circumstances, even if they be your enemy, and here we are talking about our life partners and the parent of our children. To use words such as "never" and "always" when describing the behavior of the partner is unfair and puts the other on the defensive.
  12. Finance: One of the most common points of contention in marriages is money. Experts tell us that 80 percent of marital conflicts are about money.
    It is therefore highly recommended that the couple put serious time and effort in developing a financial management plan that is mutually agreeable and is reviewed every six months or so. Preparing a budget together is also a helpful and wise way to handling household finances. It should be remembered that the wife's money in Islam is hers to do with as she pleases and therefore should not be considered family income unless she chooses to contribute it to the family
  13. Family: Parenting can be a stressful experience if the parents are not well informed. This in turn can put extra pressure on the marriage.
    Sometimes couples are naive about the changes that come in the lifestyle. This can cause in some cases depression and in some resentment and misunderstandings. One golden rule that must always be the guide is; that family comes first.
    Whenever there is evidence that the family is not happy or not our first priority it is time to assemble at the kitchen table and discuss with open hearts and mind.
  14. Feelings: Prophet Muhammad (SAW) stated that Allah forgives all sins if we repent but not those we have committed against others i.e. hurt their feelings unless the person we have hurt forgives first.
    Couples are sometimes very careless when it comes to their spouse's feelings, they take them for granted and assume that the other knows what they mean. It is surprising that people are more sensitive and courteous to strangers than they are to their loved ones. One must be ever vigilant and careful that they do not hurt the feelings of their spouses and if they invariably do, they should apologize as soon as possible. Since one does not know when someone they love will leave this world, is it not better to make amends when we have the time?
  15. Freedom: Marriage in Islam is a partnership and not bondage or slavery. To consider the wife one's property is alien to Islamic concept of husband and wife role. The team spirit is enhanced and not curtailed when members of the team are free to be themselves. Freedom in the common western since is to be free to do as one pleases or to be selfish. On the contrary, to allow freedom to one's spouse is to be considerate of their needs and to recognize their limitations.
  16. Flirtation: A sure way to keep romance in marriage is to flirt (only) with your spouse. Many successful marriages have maintained a youthful demeanor in their marriages by adopting special names for each other and secret communication styles.
  17. Frank: Misunderstandings happen when couples are not honest with each other. Marital relationship is where the partners must feel safe to speak their mind with due consideration to the other's feeling, without compromising their own views. When the communication is not frank it hinders in the development of closeness and deep understanding of each other's inner self.
  18. Facilitator: When choosing our life partner, we must, as the Prophet (SAW) advised, look for a pious Muslim. The reason is that their first and foremost goal is the pleasure of Allah. This commitment to Allah makes them an excellent facilitator (someone who makes things easy) for enhancing their partner's spiritual development. In essence, the couple facilitates their family's commitment to Allah and His Deen.
  19. Flattering: Paying compliments and indulging in honest flattery is a very inexpensive way to win your spouse's heart. Everyone likes to be appreciated and noticed. So being stingy about compliments is actually depriving oneself of being appreciated in return.
  20. Fulfilling: To be all one can be to one's spouse is a very fulfilling and rewarding experience. To be in love means to give one's all. The heart does not put conditions or make stipulations. It gives without expecting anything in return, but such selfless giving is always rewarded tenfold.
  21. Fallible: It often happens that our expectations sometimes are so high that we lose focus of the fact that we are fallible (not perfect/make mistakes) beings. When couples start to nitpick and demand the impossible they must remind themselves that only Allah is perfect.
  22. Fondness: So many times couples fail to work on developing fondness for each other by [failing] to see their spouses as people through the eyes of their respective friends. Spending quality time alone doing and sharing activities are ways in which one can develop fondness.
  23. Future: Smart couples plan for their future together. They work on their financial and retirement plans, make wills and discuss these plans with their children. This provides peace of mind and secures the relationship.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Eight lies of mother

1. The story began when I was a child; I was a son of a poor family in Africa. We did not even have enough food. Whenever meal times came, mother would often give me her portion of rice. While she was removing her rice into my bowl, she would say "Eat this rice, son. I'm not hungry". That was Mother's First Lie.

2. When I was growing up, my persevering mother gave her spare time to go fishing in a river near our house, she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could gave me a little bit of nutritious food for my growth. After fishing, she would cook some fresh fish soup, which raised my appetite. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat the rest of the fish, which was still on the bone of the fish I had eaten. My heart was touched when I saw that. I then used my chopstick and gave the other fish to her. But she immediately refused and said "Eat this fish, son. I don't really like fish." That was Mother's Second Lie.

3. Then, when I was in Junior High School...... to fund my studies, mother went to an economic enterprise to bring some used-match boxes that would need to be stuck together. It gave her some money to cover our needs. As the winter came, I woke up from my sleep and looked at my mother who was still awake, supported by a little candlelight and with perseverance she would continue the work of sticking some used-match boxes. I said, "Mother, go to sleep, it's late, tomorrow morning you still have to go to work." Mother smiled and said "Go to sleep, dear. I'm not tired." That was Mother's Third Lie.

4. The final term arrived.......mother asked for leave from work in order to accompany me. While the sun was starting to shine strongly, my persevering mother waited for me under the heat for several hours. As the bell rang, which indicated that the final exam had finished, mother immediately welcomed me and poured me a cup of tea that she had brought in a flask. Seeing my mother covered with perspiration, I at once gave her my cup and asked her to drink too. Mother said "Drink, son. I'm not thirsty ! ” That was Mother's Fourth Lie.

5. After the death of my father due to illness, my poor mother had to play her role as a single parent. She had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. No days without suffering. Our family's condition was getting worse, a kind uncle who lived near our house assisted now and then. Our neighbours, often advised my mother to marry again. But mother was stubborn and didn't take their advice; she said "I don't need love." That was Mother's Fifth Lie.

6. After I had finished my studies and got a job, it was the time for my old mother to retire. But she didn't want to; she would go to the marketplace every morning, just to sell some vegetables to fulfill her needs. I, who worked in another city, often sent her some money to help her, in fulfilling her needs, but she would not accept the money. At times, she even sent the money back to me. She said "I have enough money." That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

7. After graduating with a Bachelors Degree, I then continued to do a Masters Degree. It was funded by a company through a scholarship program, from a famous University in America. I finally worked in the company. With a good salary, I intended to bring my mother to enjoy her life in America. But my lovely mother didn't want to bother her son. She said to me, "I'm not use to." That was Mother's Seventh Lie.

8. In her old age, mother got stomach cancer and had to be hospitalized. I, who lived miles away, across the ocean, went home to visit my dearest mother. She lay in weakness on her bed after having an operation. Mother, who looked so old, was staring at me in deep thought. She tried to spread her smile on her face...but it was a noticeable effort. It was clear that the disease had weakened mother's body. She looked so frail and weak. I stared at my mother with tears flowing. My heart was hurt,….. so hurt, seeing my mother in that condition. But mother with the little strength she had, said "Don't cry, my dear. I'm not in pain." That was Mother's Eighth Lie.


After saying her eighth lie, my Dearest mother closed her eyes forever !

Why Should I Wear The Hijaab?

This is a good question and there is a beautiful answer! Allaah has commanded us with every action that is good for us and prohibited us from performing every action that is bad for us. Allaah orders the Muslim woman to wear the hijaab when she steps out of the security of her home or when in the presence of strange men. So to wear the hijaab is a source of great good for you – the Muslim woman - for many reasons. Among them:


  • You please Allaah. You are obeying the commands of your Lord when you wear the hijaab and you can expect great rewards in return.

  • It is Allaah’s protection of your natural beauty. You are too precious to be "on display" for each man to see.

  • It is Allaah’s preservation of your chastity.

  • Allaah purifies your heart and mind through the hijaab.

  • Allaah beautifies your inner and outer countenance with hijaab. Outwardly your hijaab reflects innocence, purity, modesty, shyness, serenity, contentment and obedience to your Lord. Inwardly you cultivate the same.

  • Allaah defines your femininity through the hijaab. You are a woman who respects her womanhood. Allaah wants you to be respected by others, and for you to respect yourself.

  • Allaah raises your dignity through the hijaab. When a strange man looks at you, he respects you because he sees that you respect yourself.

  • Allaah protects your honour 100% through your hijaab. Men do not gaze at you in a sensual way, they do not approach you in a sensual way, and neither do they speak to you in a sensual way. Rather, a man holds you in high esteem and that is just by one glance at you!

  • Allaah gives you nobility through the hijaab. You are noble not degraded because you covered not naked.

  • Allaah demonstrates your equality as a Muslim woman through the hijaab. Your Lord bestows upon you equal worth as your male counterpart, and gives you a host of beautiful rights and liberties. You express your acceptance of these unique rights by putting on the hijaab.

  • Allaah defines your role as a Muslim woman through the hijaab. You are a someone with important duties. You are a reflection of a woman of action not idle pursuits. You display your sense of direction and purpose through your hijaab. You are someone that people take seriously.

  • Allaah expresses your independence through the hijaab. You are stating clearly that you are an obedient servant of the Greatest Master. You will obey no one else and follow no other way. You are not a slave to any man, nor a slave to any nation. You are free and independent from all man-made systems.

  • Allaah gives you the freedom of movement and expression through the hijaab. You are able to move about and communicate without fear of harassment. Your hijaab gives you a unique confidence.

  • Allaah wants others to treat you – a Muslim woman - with kindness. And the hijaab brings about the best treatment of men towards you.

  • Allaah wants your beauty to be preserved and saved for just one man to enjoy – your husband.

  • Allaah helps you to enjoy a successful marriage through wearing hijaab. Because you reserve your beauty for one man alone, your husband’s love for you increases, he cherishes you more, he respects you more and he honours you more. So your hijaab contributes to a successful and lasting marriage relationship.

  • Allaah brings about peace and stability in the society through the hijaab! Yes this is true! Men do not cause corruption by forming illegal relationships because you - the Muslim woman - calm their passions. When a man looks at you, he feels at ease, not tempted to fornicate…

  • So a Muslim woman in hijaab is dignified, not dishonoured, noble, not degraded, liberated, not subjugated, purified, not sullied, independent, not a slave, protected, not exposed, respected, not laughed at, confident, not insecure, obedient, not a sinner, a guarded pearl, not a prostitute…
Dear Muslim sister! Come towards the gates of Paradise with us! Fulfill your duties towards Allaah, put on your adornment - put on your hijaab, and race towards Jannah (Paradise) by doing all good actions. You should agree by now that wearing hijaab is extremely beneficial – it must be - because Allaah only commands what is good…

"Their reward is with their Lord: Gardens of Eden underneath which rivers flow wherein they will dwell for ever; Allaah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him; this is (in store) for whoever fears his Lord." [Sooratul-Bayyinah 98:8]


60 Ways to Keep Your Wife's Love - Guaranteed

1. Make her feel secure and sakinah - don't threaten her with divorce
2. Give sincere salaams
3. Treat her gently - like a fragile vessel
4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere
5. Be generous with her
6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart
7. Avoid anger, keep wudu at all times
8. Look good and smell great for your wife
9. Don't be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken
10. Be a good listener
11. Yes for flattery, No for arguing
12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, names she loves to hear
13. A pleasant surprise
14. Preserve and guard the tongue
15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings
16. Give sincere compliments
17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family
18. Speak of the topic of her interest
19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is
20. Give each other gifts21. Get rid of routine, surprise her
22. Have a good opinion of each other
23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don't nitpick
24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses
25. Expect and respect her jealously
26. Be humble
27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers
26. Be humble
27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers
28. Help at home, with housework
29. Help her love your relatives, but don't try to force her
30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you
31. Remember your wife in dua
32. Leave the past for Allah subhanahu wa ta ala, don't dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.
33. Don't act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family
34. Take shaytaan as your enemy, not your wife
35. Put food in your wife's mouth
36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want to protect
37. Show her your smile
38. Don't ignore the small things, deal with them before they become big
39. Avoid being harsh-hearted
40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking
41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills
42. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within halal boundaries
43. Help her take care of the children
44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments
45. Sit down and eat meals together
46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel, give her sufficient notice
47. Don't leave home in anger
48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home
49. Encourage each other in ibaadat
50. Respect and Fulfill her rights upon you
51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times
52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, "Don't jump on her like a bull"
53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don't take it outside
54. Show care for her health and well-being
55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself
56. Share your happiness and sadness with her
57. Have mercy for her weaknesses
58. Be a firm support for her to lean on
59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal
60. Have a good intention for her

Saturday, August 25, 2007

60 Ways to Keep Your Husband's Love

  1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn't want a man for his wife!
  2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don't stay in your sleeping suit all day.
  3. Smell good!
  4. Don't lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
  5. Don't keep asking him, "what are you thinking?"
  6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta'ala gives you something really to complain about.
  7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
  8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
  9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
  10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
  11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
  12. Compliment him on the things you know he's not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
  13. Tell him he's the best husband ever.
  14. Call his family often.
  15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
  16. When he's talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you're interested.
  17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
  18. If he's in a bad mood, give him some space. He'll get over it, inshaAllah.
  19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It's a big deal.
  20. If he's angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you're quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he's calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
  21. When you're mad at him, don't say "YOU make me furious", rather, "This action makes me upset". Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
  22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
  23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they're good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn't feel "cooped up" at home.
  24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really
  25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
  26. Don't get mad over small things. It's not worth it.
  27. Make jokes. If you're not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
  28. Tell him you're the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you're good at.
  29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
  30. Don't ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
  31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you're a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
  32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
  33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he's your servant. "They are garment to each other" [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
  34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (رضالله عنها) narrated that the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like "a knot." And the next time he would ask her, "How is that knot?" He also used to reply to her saying, "Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you."
  35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
  36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
  37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don't laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
  38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
  39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
  40. Don't discuss important/controver sial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
  41. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
  42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the "dough". It makes it easier for him to go to work.
  43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
  44. Brush your hair, everyday.
  45. Don't forget to do laundry.
  46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
  47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
  48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies
  49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
  50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
  51. Learn tricks and "techniques" to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
  52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
  53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
  54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don't wait until matters become worse.
  55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du'ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
  56. Don't EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don't say, "well her husband doesn't do that, why do you …" (thats a killer!)
  57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
  58. Strive for Allah's love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah's love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
  59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn't take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
  60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.